我躺在床上，一時無法入睡。
室友們都回家去了，只有我一個人留在宿舍。在 BBS 上雖然 talk 得很愉快，但是一關電腦，身心都覺得疲憊已極，只想找個女孩子共暖被窩；向來孤單的我心想：春天到底什麼時候來？
「哈囉？」
一個女性的聲音響起，很輕，帶了點試驗性質；我張大眼望了望，隨即感到好笑；自己的房間自己清楚，哪裡會有女人？唉，幻覺都出來了，擁緊棉被，還是趕快睡吧。
「哈囉？」
又來了，這次聽得真切，真的是女人的聲音。我幾乎跳起來，緊張地問著：「誰？誰在我房裡？」左手摸到燈開關打開，整個房間剎時亮了起來──怪….怪了？什麼都沒有？
那個聲音又響起來，「別慌，也不用怕。我沒有惡意的。」頓了一頓，「我來你房間的原因是….是….」
「是什麼？」我有點顫抖著問。
「是因為….我喜歡你….」她的聲音逐漸變細，尾音幾不可聞。「我真的很喜歡你，所以才鼓起勇氣出聲招呼；希望不要嚇著你了。」
我在床上坐著，背靠著牆，棉被拉到下巴，努力的揉揉眼，沒錯，房間裡沒其他人，但聲音似乎從每個角落響至….「你到底躲在哪兒？你說你喜歡我是什麼意思？」
那聲音悠悠歎了口氣：「我也不知道為何喜歡你，算是緣分吧！我跟著你已經有一年了。喂，不用找了，你看不到我的，我根本沒有身體呀！」
我呆呆地搖頭：「不對，這一定只是個夢。現在是晚上，所以我在作夢。」可是這個夢卻又如此逼真。我把棉被拉到下巴，向著空氣問：「你沒有身體？這什麼意思？你到底是誰？」
「我只是一個精神體啦！人類都叫我們什麼來著？鬼或是幽靈啦。」
「你….你到底是什麼東西….我不相信神鬼之類的，你不要騙我。」
「你相不相信並不重要，」她調皮地說，「真的有鬼存在，而且就在這裡，而且那個鬼喜歡你，想要贏得你的友誼！」
「以這種方式開始？怎麼可能。」我被嚇得有點生氣，「你說你跟了我多久？一年了？跟著我上課、去圖書館、吃飯？」
「嗯，還有上廁所、洗澡….我最喜歡你沖浴時沉醉在熱水裡的樣子了。現在我最想做的，就是陪你睡覺囉！」
「什麼？你說什麼？」我吃驚道。
「我說：我想陪你一起睡。你要我嗎？」
我吞了口口水，這算什麼？倩女幽魂？雖然我二十好幾了，但是跟女鬼睡覺？「我….我從來沒有跟女孩子睡過。」
她帶著同情的口吻說：「這我知道，我就喜歡你的純潔嘛！所以….你希望我有什麼樣的身體呢？」
一時反應不太過來，「你的意思是：你可以變成任何我想要的樣子？」
「是的。」
我張大嘴巴，好一會兒才說：「聽起來很不可思議。」
「會嗎？為什麼？」
「我也不曉得，反正就是覺得不可思議。這太瘋狂了，我一定還在作夢吧？地球上有二十五億的男人，怎麼可能單單有個女鬼半夜在我房間裡，還問我希望跟哪種身體睡覺呢？」
「其實我碰到過不少男人….只有你能讓我心動。」
我真不知道是該感覺倒楣還是驕傲。「但是，為什麼你會喜歡我呢？」
「人類喜歡什麼人需要理由嗎？」她不答反問。
「我想不需要。」
「剛好我們鬼也一樣。」她又調皮一笑，「好啦，你喜歡我長什麼樣子呢？」
我有點遲疑，跟鬼玩，會不會減陽壽？但是她說話的聲音聽起來蠻真摯的，說不定真喜歡我呢！好吧，姑且一試，反正我平日行善，佛祖會保佑我的。「我喜歡….跟我差不多高的。」
「那容易。」她說：「再來，膚色呢？」
「膚色嘛！」我喃喃地說：「白種女人蠻不錯的，但是膚質差了些….黑女人我又不太喜歡….對了，變那種有點天然黑的皮膚，像是印度那一帶的。」
「沒問題。頭髮顏色呢？」
「黑的。而且要又長又直！我希望你看起來有點印度女人的樣子。」
「但是大多數又高又苗條的印度人五官都像西方人耶！」
「真的嗎？好吧，就這樣沒關係。」
「隨你囉！」她又問：「那你喜歡什麼樣的身材的呢？」
「唔，中等胸部，大奶頭的如何？」
她輕笑出聲。「這真是出乎我意料之外，你竟然會喜歡這種身材的；無論如何我照做就是了。那體格呢？瘦弱的，輕盈的，還是很強壯的？」
「苗條，但是帶點肌肉。」我說：「不過不要那種練出來健美的肌肉啦，是很自然運動產生的。」
「體毛？」
「我真不敢相信….」突然感覺好像在餐廳吩咐師父要煮幾分熟的牛排，加上多少的調味醬一樣….體毛？
她又笑了：「對不起啦，我知道這有點瘋狂；但是我必須依你的希望產生….你希望我有腿毛、陰毛、腋毛嗎？」
「喔！」我想了一想，然後自己也笑了。「我知道人類要自然一點比較好，但是我想要一個沒有毛的身體….」
「好吧！我可以變成沒毛的女人。」停了會，「我要現身了哦，你準備好了嗎？」
「等一下。」突然發現自己幾乎是脫光睡的，「先讓我把衣服穿起來。」
「沒穿衣服有啥關係？我不能變衣服出來，所以我也是裸體的；再說我跟了你一年，早就把你身體看得一清二楚了。我喜歡你沒穿衣服的樣子。」
我歎了口氣，說道：「好吧。」
就是那麼簡單；上一刻，我還孤獨地一個人待在房間裡；下一刻，她冒了出來，站在我床前。就著床頭燈看，她真是美──苗條、健康的黑皮膚，小小的胸部上覆蓋著兩圈比膚色更黑的乳暈，長長的黑髮如瀑布般直瀉腰際。她以皇后般的幽雅伸出手來，我遲疑了一下，迎向她的手；我又吃了一驚，原以為鬼是虛無飄渺，或是冷冷冰冰的；但是她的手卻是如此的溫暖，皮膚如此地光滑，就跟我們人類的一樣。
她對著我微笑，然後拉我的手去碰她嬌軟的胸部。「來吧！來摸摸我，來摸摸這個你創造出來的軀體。」
我可以感覺手在顫抖。「我真不敢相信….我是在作夢吧？」這真的不是我的幻覺嗎？她的胸部是那麼的真實，那麼地溫暖，還帶了濃濃女性身上特有的幽香。如果這是夢，那也做得太過火了一點。
她跨了一部，坐上了床，整個身體靠在我的肩上；我可以感覺到她的乳間碰到了我上臂。她吐氣如蘭，說著：「就算是作夢也沒關係….你何不現在盡情享受，把是不是夢的問題，留待天亮再討論呢？」
「好吧！」雖然親眼見到，我還是懷疑著：「喂，你不是什麼離家出走、又會變戲法的未成年少女吧？不要愚弄我哦！」
她嘻嘻一笑，忽然又隱形了，「你看我是不是在愚弄你呢？」
她就這樣不見了，真是奇妙啊！但是在幾秒之內，有「人」輕輕地碰我；嘴唇有著潮濕的感觸，一雙手纏住我的背，兩團肉球貼著我赤裸的胸膛；我眼前的的確確沒任何東西，但感覺又如此真實….
我躺回床上，她還是繞著我；我開始回應她的吻。她離開我的唇，開始吻我的脖子，手指在我身上恣意探索著。終於她找到了我內褲的褲帶，焦急地褪下這個障礙。我抱住看不見的她，在她背上愛撫著。
我跨下的器具以最快的速度升起，然後被一股潮濕而溫暖的物體所吞噬。我還是看不見她，但是可以感覺出她在我的懷抱中，享受著我的處男的獻禮。這麼緊，這麼有力，像是有東西在吸阭著。我全身肌肉都繃了起來。忽然，一股想像不到的痛快，像電一般流過我的身體，一陣狂喜的痙攣，好久沒有得到宣洩的白色精液像火山爆發噴、噴、再噴，一次比一次噴得更高。
這個痛快好像持續了幾世紀之久，然後她的唇又回到我嘴巴上，胸部又貼回我的胸。我們再度接吻，這就是做愛了吧，我心想，全身骨頭似乎都軟掉了。但是在一分鐘內，下部又不安分地逐漸地挺了起來，好像剛剛沒有損失半點男性的精力，可以重來一樣。
似乎一整晚我們都重複這樣做著，每次都欣喜，每次都完美，每次都很不可思議，而且在每次過後，我總是可以生龍活虎地馬上再來。假如這是夢，那就是我做過最不可思議的春夢了；我寧願這樣夢一輩子。
隔天早上，我在滿室陽光中醒來。好久沒有睡得正麼沈了，好像整個星期的疲勞都在昨夜調息過來。昨天晚上我作了個好奇怪的夢….這個怪夢，呵呵，想起來就好笑。我拉了拉被子，想賴一下床….奇怪，我手上碰到的是什麼？誰在我棉被裡？我猛然睜開眼，她那頭長髮就在我眼前幾公分遠。
「你醒啦？」
「我醒了！」我回答。我醒了嗎？是不是還在作夢？「你….你是誰？哦不不不，你是什麼東西？我們昨天晚上真的….真的….」
她把我的手拉到她小而柔軟的胸部上。「真的….真的什麼？」她咯咯一笑，「我們昨天晚上是不是真的做愛了？當然是囉！而且做了一整夜呢！就一個沒經驗的人來講，你的表現十分不錯哦。至於我是誰？你還記得吧，昨天晚上還沒幫我取名字，我們就急著玩樂了。如果你問我是什麼東西….」她忽然有點悲傷地講：「好久好久以前，我也是一個有名有姓，健康正常的女孩子呢！」
「好久好久….是多久呢？」
「有幾百年了吧？我也不太記得了。時間對沒有軀體的人而言，是沒有意義的。當我還是女孩子的時候，我很羨慕傳說在空氣中自由飛翔的精靈、女巫什麼的，但是一變成了虛無的靈魂，反而懷念有軀體實實在在的生活了。謝謝你幫我創造出這個身體來。」
我沉默了一會兒，「有沒有其他像你一樣的女孩子？我的意思是，像你一樣的….嗯…女鬼….變成人形的？」
「可能吧！人死了以後都會變成靈魂的，應該都有一個天使來帶領她上天堂….我的天使不知道為什麼沒有來，害我一個人孤孤單單地在人世間漂流，每次看到別的天使帶領著靈魂到天堂去報到，就覺得好羨慕。」她悲傷地說著：「我流浪了好幾年，在很多地方修練，法力逐漸增加，好幾年前我發現可以藉助人類的希望，把我變成真實的形體；一年前又遇到了你….看來我要感謝那個失約的天使了。」
「聽起來你度過了好一段孤獨的時光。」
「還好啦！」她開朗的說：「能和你在一起，我就要謝謝上帝了。」
我不知道該如何表達我心內的感傷，她曾經一個「人」，孤單的過了幾百年，這個孤單的滋味我是知道的，非常的痛苦、空虛。我伸出手去，擁緊她，希望能去除她孤單的感覺。
唔，我也不知道是怎麼回事，一會兒之後，我才發現擁緊的部位，正好是她細緻的胸部。她的雙手在我的前臂上來回游動。我看著她，現在的她是真實的，一點也看出是女妖或女鬼；在晨曦的照射下(別問我鬼為什麼照了陽光不會消失，我也是昨兒夜裡第一次碰到鬼的)，除了嘴唇和碩大的乳圈外，她的皮膚是溫暖的深褐色。她幽雅地甩甩頭髮，轉過身來，一隻手不安分地溜上了我的裸胸。
一面看著這性感美女，一面感覺她的手指在皮膚上的動作，我很快地又興奮起來。她一言不發地伏到我身上，對著我的堅挺，慢慢地坐了下去。剛開始她很慢，很柔，柔的我想發狂；然後她也感覺到我的需要，動作逐漸加快，狂野，尖尖的指甲拚命在我胸上畫圈。我再也忍受不住了，抱起她，轉過一個位置，把我的男性特徵深深地埋進她體內。再一次的，我把白色的種子播進她的容器中，我倆在狂喜中輕喊，一起到了天堂。
我下樓買了早餐，剛吃飽，我從她的眼中發現她又要了。我把她的手從我的頸子上撥下來：「不行，我和同學約好了，待會要去寫 SA 的作業。」我看著她，這女人真是漂亮呀，把她留在寢室會不會有問題？
我心中突然閃過一個念頭：「你說你會法術，那你的法力有多強呢？」SA 作業又多又難做，如果….唉，我這種想法真要不得。
「法力？哦！其實我法力很弱的….」她說：「前幾年修練完，我就慢慢摸索，發現如果我能積存到一定的能量，要施展法術就很簡單。本來我常施法作弄一些神經兮兮的傢伙，後來碰到你，覺得可以把法力作更好的運用；所以這一年來，我幾乎不施法，直到昨天，把我自己弄成這模樣，法力幾乎消耗殆盡….我想我大概得這樣過一輩子直到老死了。」
我沒有說話。聽起來她作了一個很大的犧牲，但是對象是我，值得嗎？我再度凝視著她，為她的高貴及剛才心中的念頭感到羞恥。終於我出聲打破沉默：「你有名字嗎？」
她愉快的說：「你可以替我取一個新的呀？現在的我跟新生的一樣。」
「但是….你本來出生時是叫什麼呢？」
「彭絲妲….」
「這個名字很好嘛！你介意我叫你絲妲嗎？」
「也好！」她笑了，「我真高興我選了你。你知道為什麼嗎？」
我微笑：「哦？為什麼？」
「因為，你是一個真正有風度的男人。」
「謝啦！」我笑著，眼睛不由自主地又溜向她美妙的胴體。「我該走了，我會寫一整天程式，晚上才回來….你呢？打算做什麼？」
「我也不知道，這樣好了，你叫我做什麼我就做什麼。」
「喂，我可不希望你一天到晚待在我寢室裡，當我愛的奴隸，找點自己的事情做做嘛！」
「好吧！」絲妲想了一想，「也許我會到市中心逛一逛。」
「去逛逛也好….」我突然想到一個嚴重的問題：「那衣服怎麼辦？我沒有女孩子的衣服耶！」
「別擔心。你忘了嗎？我跟你尺寸是一樣的，你的衣服我應該都能穿。當然啦，我得先跟你借套衣服，幾天而已….我想你不介意！」
「但是錢呢？錢怎麼辦？我只是個窮學生。而且，你沒有身份證或護照哇！最近抓非法外勞抓這麼凶，你一出門可能馬上就被逮捕了！」
「別擔心。」她笑著說：「只要我待會兒寫幾封信就萬事 OK 了！來吧，我們先去挑衣服。」
我拉開衣櫥，幸好有好幾件牛仔褲。我抓出其中一條深藍色的丟給她，然後皺著眉說：「我沒有女性的內衣褲啦！」
「不要緊，暫時而已嘛！」
「那你喜歡穿Ｔ恤還是襯衫？」我一面問著，一面在衣櫃裡翻，心中卻想著，我的牛仔褲穿在她身上不知是什麼模樣。
「白色、圓領，有三顆扣子的那件好了！」她喊著。我突然驚覺，她真的跟著我一年了，連我有什麼衣服都清清楚楚的。
我將衣服遞給她，看著她把襯衫自頭上慢慢套下，我又開口了：「絲妲，你確定你要穿這個？」
「是呀！有什麼不對嗎？」她調整了一下衣領，問著。
「我覺得….不太適合！」
「會嗎？我覺得不錯呀！」
「可是你的皮膚黑，穿這個，這裡特別明顯。」我比了比胸部，「不信你自己看看。」
她在門後的小鏡子上照了半天，笑著說：「你不喜歡這個效果？」
「我當然喜歡啦！」我說。
「這可以啦！你還沒看過我還活著的時候，穿過什麼樣的衣服呢！趕快吧，你自己說得去寫程式的，不要讓別人久等了。」
我離開以前留了一串鑰匙，還有身上的一千多塊給絲妲。在系館奮鬥了一天，等到要回寢室的時候，我有點希望她已經離開了。當然，絲妲很迷人，但是畢竟不是人類呀！
我走到寢室門前，就聽到我的喇叭流洩出輕柔的巴洛克音樂。打開門，迎面而來的是絲妲的笑臉：「程式寫得怎麼樣？」
「還好。」我說。事實上，今天幾乎沒什麼進度，寫程式時我一直在想著她。
[email protected]賽門@脫星.十捨.交作業大學.教育部.台灣
附錄：英文原文
This story is another from the archives, and is not written by me.
Requests for just about anything concerning these posts will be ignored. See the FAQ in a.s.s.d for more information.
I went to bed Sunday night feeling a bit depressed. Weekends didthat to me, with the knowledge that others went out and had fun while Idid nothing, and it had been the kind of warm spring weekend that peoplesay is ripe for romance. I was lying on my side wondering if I wouldever find a girl, one arm under my pillow and the other arm hugging thecovers against my ear when I heard a quiet voice.
“Hello?” it said, sounding tentative. It was a softly femininevoice, but there was nobody in the room who could have spoken. After abrief startle, I ignored the voice and assumed that I「d imagined it.
“Hello,” it said again, more firmly, just as my thoughts had begun todrift.
“Who are you? What are you doing in my room?” I answered, sitting upin the darkness as I groped for the bedside lamp. The light flashed on,partially blinding me, but I could see well enough. Nobody was in theroom with me.
“Don「t get upset,” the voice said, pleading. “I don「t really have aname, I guess you can pick one. I「m in your room because I like you,and I「ve decided that it「s time for me to introduce myself. I hope youdon「t mind.”
I sat in my bed with my back against the wall, staring around myempty room and seeing no sign of anyone. The voice seemed to come fromnowhere in particular. “Where are you hiding? Come on out where I cansee you. What do you mean, you like me.”
“Just that. I「ve been following you for a year now, and I like you.As to why you can「t see me, I don「t have a body yet.”
I slumped in my bed and pulled the covers back up to my chin. “Thenthis must be a dream,” I said. “What do you mean, you don「t have abody. What are you?”
“I guess I「m a spirit, or something like that.”
“What do you mean, you guess. Besides, I don「t believe in spirits.”
“It really doesn「t matter what you believe,” the voice said, with achuckle. “I「m me, I「m real, I like you, and I「d like to be yourfriend.”
“It「s a hell of a way to begin a friendship,” I said, sitting upangrily in bed. “Following me around for, what was it you said, for ayear? Where have you followed me anyway?”
“Everywhere, most of the time. I「d like to sleep with you.”
“What?”
“What I said, I want to sleep with you. What kind of body would youlike me to have?”
“I「ve never slept with a girl before,” I said, feeling very unsure ofmyself.
“I know,” she said, sounding sympathetic. “I「d like to make lovewith you. What kind of body do you want me to have?”
“Are you saying you can materialize, that you can look like anyone Iwant?”
“Yes.”
“That sounds obscene!”
“Why?”
“It does, that「s all.”
“There must be a reason.”
I sighed and slumped down in my bed. “I don「t know. This is tooweird! Maybe it「s just that dreams, fantasies, things like that, maybethey aren「t supposed to come true. Shouldn「t I have to earn my friendsand accept the bodies nature gave them?”
“Usually,” she said, sounding serious. “But you did earn me, andsince I don「t have a body right now, you have a choice about how you「dlike me to look.”
“What do you mean, I earned you?”
“You earned me, just that. I「ve followed many men over the years,and you「re the first one who「s interested me in a long time.
“Why me?”
“Do people need reasons?”
“No, I guess not.”
“OK, so how do you want me to look?”
I hesitated, and then decided to play along. “How about tall andslim, about my size.”
“Easy enough,” she said. “Pick a skin color.”
“I don「t know,” I said, and then chuckled. “Suntans look nice, but Ithink tanning「s a stupid activity. How about naturally dark skin, likepeople from India or something.”
“Hair color?”
“Black, I suppose. Anything else would look out of place. Make itstraight and long, and I guess your features should look Indian too, youknow, oriental.”
“But most tall slim Indians have western looking features.”
“They do? OK, if you say so.”
“What about my figure.”
“How about medium to small breasts, with big nipples.”
She chuckled again. “This is fun, I guessed that one from the kindsof girls you like to watch. How about build, skinny, lightly padded ormuscular?”
“Slim but muscular,” I said. “Be functional, not decorative.”
“Body hair?”
“I don「t believe this,” I said, flustered by the thought of orderinga human body the way you「d order a meal in a restaurant.
She chuckled. “I「m sorry, I gess this is a bit weird, but do youwant my body to have hair, pubic hair and armpit hair?”
“What choice have I got? I mean, it「s stupid for women to shavetheir bodies, but I guess I like the idea of a hairless body.”
“OK, I can make me hairless,” she said, and then paused. “That aboutcovers everything, ready for me to materialize?”
“No!” I said, suddenly aware that I was naked. “Let me put somethingon.”
“Why bother? I can「t materialize clothing, only a body, so I「ll benude. Anyway, I「ve followed you around for a year; I「m used to what youlook like when you「re nude, and I like it.”
I sighed. “OK.”
She was there. It was that simple. One moment, I was alone in myroom, and the next moment, there she was, standing in front of me as Isat in bed. She was beautiful in the light of my bedside lamp, slim,dark-skinned, with even darker areolas that almost covered her smallbreasts, and long black hair down to her waist.
She took a step towards me and held out her hand. I took it, and itwas warm and solid, as real as my own. She smiled at me as I looked ather, and then she pulled my hand to her breast. “Come, feel me, enjoythe body you「ve helped create.”
“I still don「t believe this,” I said, my hand trembling as I touchedher breast. It was soft and warm, real flesh, and very feminine flesh.
“What can I do to convince you that I「m real?”
“I don「t know,” I said.
She sat on my bed beside me, her thigh against mine, her breasttouching my arm as she rested her arm around my shoulders. “I suppose,”she said, speaking softly, “I suppose it doesn「t really matter. Why notjust enjoy a fun night of fantasy and let the question of whether I「mreal wait for the light of day?”
“OK, but I「ve got to go to work tomorrow, you know.”
“Don「t worry, I promise, you「ll wake up rested and ready for actionin the morning.”
“Then convince me,” I said, getting out of bed and turning to lookat her. “Convince me that you「re magic.”
“OK,” she said, grinning, and then disappeared. She was gone, but inseconds, I felt a soft touch. Lips touched mine, hands slid over myback, and warm breasts pressed themselves against me. It was the stuffof pure fantasy, but it felt so real.
As I sat back on the bed, I gave in to the fantasy and beganreturning the kisses. There was nothing to see by the light of mybedroom lamp, yet I felt a woman on top of me as I lay down in bed. Herlips kissed my neck, her fingers touched my chest, and I stroked herinvisible back.
My penis rose between my legs with an intensity and speed unlikeanything I can remember, and then it was engulfed in soft moist slidingwarmth. I looked down and saw nothing. My hands rested on nothing toeach side of my erect penis, but I could feel it. I could feel her bodybetween my hands and I could feel her body surrounding my penis.
My curiosity was overwhelmed by the sensation. The pressure in mypenis mounted to limits I「d never experienced in my solitary pleasures,and then I felt an orgasm like nothing I「d ever expected. It roaredthrough me, it mounted higher, and roared again, sending waves of pureundiluted pleasure through my body as my penis slid in and out of theinvisible soft velvet of her body.
It lasted a long time, and then I felt her lips on my mouth and herbreasts on my chest. We kissed, I slid my hands over her invisiblebody, and I wondered what was happening to me. In no time, I felt myerection returning, and the rise to another orgasm swept my thoughtsaside.
It seemed like the entire night went on like that, one impossibledreamlike orgasm after another, each perfect, each satisfying, and eachleaving me rested and ready for more. If it was a dream, it was themost incredibly sexy dream I「ve ever had, and if it was real, there wasno way I could reconcile it with anything I knew about reality.
Monday morning, I woke up aware of her body pressed warmly againstmine. Her fanny was against my hips, her back against my chest and myfingers were on her hard nipple. I could smell her, and when I openedmy eyes, I could see the back of her head only inches from my face.
“Are you awake?” she asked, in a very quiet voice.
“Yes,” I answered. “Who, what are you? Did we really … ?” Ibroke off flustered.
She chuckled and held my hand to her small, soft breast. “Did wereally what? We really did make love last night, almost all night, ifthat「s what you want to know. For a beginner, you「re pretty good, itwas fun. As to who I am, I don「t have a name yet, but you「re welcometo name me. What am I? I「m not sure what I am now, but I was born agirl, a very normal girl, a long long time ago.”
“How long ago?”
“Hundreds of years, and it「s been a century or so since I last tookhuman form.” Her voice sounded sad. “When I「m in human form, I get sodisgusted with people, but when I「m a spirit, I miss having a body somuch.”
“Are there others like you? There「s a word, a succubus, is that whatyou are?”
“A succubus? I「ve played that role at times, and I「ll admit that itcan be fun, but it「s not something to dedicate a life to. I don「t knowif there are others like me. I guess it「s possible, but I「ve neverfound any evidence of any except in folktales.”
“It sounds like you「ve had some lonely times.”
“I have,” she said, and then took a long breath. “You know, in allthose years, I「ve never talked about it with anyone else.”
I didn「t know how to respond to her, but I liked the feeling of herbody against mine and I liked the way she held my hand to her breast.She stroked my forearm with her hand, and then sat up beside me andlooked down at me. Her skin was a warm brown in the early morninglight, except for her dark brown lips and the dark circles of her largeareolas. She gracefully shook her long hair, smiled, and slid a handdown my chest.
It was exciting looking at her and feeling her fingers on my skin,and when she noticed my excitement, she wordlessly straddled my hipswith her thighs and slid herself down to engulf me. She was gentle atfirst, sitting on my hips and moving ever so slightly while she smileddown at me and fingered my chest, but as my excitement mounted, shebegan to rock harder, and then I could see that she was excited too. Ipulled her to me as we neared a shared climax, and the exquisite touchof her nipples on mine sent me over the edge as we kissed.
After breakfast, I think she wanted to make love again, but I stoppedher. I pushed her away as she tried to hug me and lead me back to bed,and then I confronted her, standing facing her in the bedroom doorway.
“Look,” I said. “Whoever you are, I「ve got to get to work. I「ll belate as it is.” Her beautiful brown body was very tempting as she stoodnaked before me. “You said you started as a normal girl, then became aspirit or something, and now you「re very much a girl, but what the hellare you? How did you become a spirit?”
“Magic.”
“Right,” I said. “The trouble is, that tells me nothing.”
“I was trapped, my father was a monster, he wanted to force me tomarry for his political advantage, and I might as well have been inprison the way I lived. Worse, I was in love with a boy. Under thosecircumstances, wouldn「t you try things, anything? I did, I found an oldbook, a wizzard「s book, I think, and the result was what I am now.”
“What else can your, uh, your magic do?”
“Not much, not now. I「ve discovered that the less use I make of mymagic, the better it is. In the first few years after I earned myfreedom, I fooled around with it all the time, and it got boring. I「velearned that in the long run, it「s more fun to play by the rules. I「vealso learned how to use my magic powers to temporarily nullifythemselves, and late last night, after I materialized, I did it. Now,I「m all but powerless until this body dies.”
I didn「t know what to say. It sounded like she「d made a hugesacrifice, and it sounded like she「d made it so she could live with me.I looked at her for a while, trying to understand her, and I felt a bitlame when I finally broke the silence. “Do you have a name?”
“Each time I「ve taken a material form for any length of time, I「vetaken a new name. You chose my form, you may as well name me too.”
“But what name were you born with?”
“Beryl.”
“It「s a pretty enough name, do you mind if I call you that?”
“OK.” She smiled. “I「m glad I chose you, you know?”
“Why?”
“Because you「re a gentleman.”
“Thanks,” I said, looking at her beautiful body as she stood in frontof me. “Look, what are we going to do. What am I going to do withyou?”
“I don「t know.”
“That「s crazy. I「ve got to go to work today, what will you do?”
“Whatever you want me to do.”
“No! What do you want to do? I「m sure as hell not having you hangaround my apartment all the time as some kind of love slave.”
“Mabe I「ll go out and look around the town.”
“What「ll you wear?”
“To go out? I don「t see much point in wearing clothes around thehouse. We「re the same size, you know. I「m not used to wearing men「sclothes, but these days, I guess I could. Do you mind if I borrow someof your clothes?”
“What about money and identification? Nowdays, you can「t very wellrun around town without money. Don「t get me wrong, you「re very pretty,and so far, you「ve been lots of fun, but you「re a legal non-person, andthat poses problems.”
“Don「t worry,” she said. “I have a few letters to write and that「llbe all taken care of. Let「s get dressed.”
I backed into my bedroom and pulled out a pair of jeans for her, thenhesitated. “I don「t have any girls underwear.”
“That「s OK. Last time I had a body, they hadn「t invented modernunderwear yet. Quite frankly, I don「t see much point to wearing itanyway.” She stepped into my jeans and pulled them up.
“What about a shirt,” I asked, admiring the way my jeans looked onher.
“With my dark skin?” she asked, and then paused. “Here, I「ll showyou,” she said, stepping into my closet and pulling out a whiteshort-sleeved shirt. It was a knit shirt, pullover style, with threebuttons at the neckline. “How about this?”
“OK,” I said, and then it struck me how odd it was that she knew whatclothing I had in the closet. She really had been watching me for along time.
As she pulled the shirt on over her head, I began to have secondthoughts. “Beryl, are you sure you want to wear that?”
“Why?” she asked, adjusting the collar.
“Well, it「s not very modest.”
“What do you mean?”
“With your dark skin, your nipples show, look at yourself.”
She looked at herself in my bedroom mirror, and then turned to me andgrinned. “Don「t you like the effect?”
“Well,” I said, looking at her. Her dark areolas were visiblethrough the thin fabric, and the lumps of her nipples stood out clearly.”I won「t say I don「t like looking at you.”
“Then OK. You should have seen the dresses I wore two centuries agoduring the Greek revival craze. Come on, as you said, you「re in a hurryto get to work.”
Before I left for work Monday morning, I left the spare key to theapartment with Beryl along with forty dollars. I half expected her todisappear with both before I got home from work, but as I walked up thesteps to my apartment, I heard music coming from my sterio.
“How was work?” Beryl called as I opened the door.
“OK,” I said, closing the door behind me. Actually, my day hadn「tbeen very productive; I「d spent too much time thinking about Beryl.
“Sit down,” Beryl said as she came out of the bedroom. “When was thelast time you went out to dinner?”
“It「s been a long time,” I said, looking at her. She wasn「t wearingthe clothes she「d been wearing when I left her in the morning; instead,she wore a short white skirt, perhaps fingertip length, with a silvercamisole top. Her hair was pulled back in a ponytail, and she wore arow of four rings in each ear.
“Like it?”
“I「m not sure,” I said, staring. “You「re awfully sexy lookingdressed like that.” The colors set off her brown skin nicely, and thefabric of the camisole draped gently over her small breasts, hinting attheir shape instead of frankly revealing them the way my knit shirt had.”Did I give you enough money to buy all that?”
“I spent a few of the dollars you gave me on fabric, then spent a bitof time sewing. The earrings only cost four bucks a pair at that Indianimport outlet in the mall.”
“But ear piercing, they don「t do that for four bucks a pair.”
“I did that myself with a sewing needle.”
I must have blanched a bit at that, because she walked up to me andgave me a gentle hug. “Don「t worry, I「ve got enough magic left that itwasn「t any problem.”
“Sounds like you went to quite a bit of effort,” I said, trying tocollect my feelings. “Where「d you get a sewing machine.”
“I did it by hand,” she said, looking down at herself as she steppedback to pose for me. “I「ve never used a sewing machine, and I grew upsewing my own clothes. Anyway, these modern styles are pretty easy.”
She smiled. “Come on, let「s go out to dinner. I know you haven「tbeen out socially in the year I「ve been following you, and you need it.”
“OK,” I said. “Where?”
She had a place in mind, and I didn「t seem to have much choice. Idrove there, and it turned out to be a bar, not a dive, but a place withfood that looked decent and a dance floor. There was evidence that aband would be playing later, but as we walked to a table, the only musicwas canned, and that wasn「t too loud to prevent conversation.
We sat at a small table, and after we「d ordered, Beryl leaned forwardon her elbows to look at me. I enjoyed the way her camisole hung,almost but not quite exposing her nipples as she faced me. “I guesswe「ve got some talking to do,” she said.
“You「re not kidding. Where do you want to start.”
She took a deep breath. “I don「t know. I「ve never done it like thisbefore. I always either completely hid my true nature or played it upall the way, you know, appearing from a burning bush and making like I「msome kind of angel.”
“So? I「m glad you want to be honest, but is that the problem?”
“Not really.”
“What is?”
“In a way, I guess it「s modern times.”
“What「s the problem?”
“Freedom. I guess you can see that I like the idea of being able toexpress my sexuality, and I like the idea that a girl who likes a guycan just move in with him, but, well, there are some things you can「ttake for granted these days.”
“Like?”
“In the old days, a girl could expect men to support her without muchtrouble. She「d keep house and keep the bed warm, and her man would earnthe money and deal with the world. It「s not like that now.”
“Right, and it「s worse. To get a job, you need a social securitynumber, and to get a number, you need proof of legal residence andemployability in the United States.”
She grinned at me. “I know, I haven「t been asleep all these years.The first thing I did this morning was buy a postal money order andwrite for a copy of my birth certificate.”
“What? I thought …”
She shushed me, then continued in a low voice. “I was born inWyoming 22 years ago and I「m half American Indian. My folks named meJenny Smith, but I「ve gone by the name Beryl since I ran away fromhome.”
“What about school records, things like that.”
“I「m self-educated, and damn proud of it!”
“Do you have relatives?” I asked as I realized what she was implying.”And what about friends? They could really mess things up.”
“They「re all dead. Don「t worry about it.”
The waitress delivered our food, and soon after that, the bandstarted to play, drowning out any effort at continued conversation. Ilooked at Beryl while I ate, unsure about what she「d done. It certainlydidn「t sound legal, but at the same time, I couldn「t imagine any legalway for a spirit, if that「s what she was, to get a legal identity intoday「s world. Had there been a Jenny Smith? How had she died, and howdid Beryl think she could claim her identity. I wasn「t sure I wanted toknow, and in a way I was glad that the music was loud enough to preventme from asking.
The food was quite good, and the music was good enough that eventhough I「m no dancer, I was tapping my feet and gently nodding my headto the beat of some of the pieces. My knees touched Beryl「s under thelittle table, and after she finished her small meal, she slid her handdown under the table and rested it on my knee, smiling as she touchedme.
“Want to dance?” she asked during the first lull in the music afterwe finished eating.
I hesitated. “I「m no good.”
“So? I haven「t danced in years, come on.”
The evening passed in a whirl. She may not have danced for acentury, but she did know how to dance, and better than that, she was agood teacher. After a short while, I forgot my awkwardness and beganenjoying myself. Beryl was fun to watch as she gyrated in front of me,and I could tell that she wanted me to watch her.
As the music slowed, I wanted to hold her, and judging by the way shedanced in my arms, she wanted to be held. Her fingers gently traced thecurve of my back, and she felt warm and soft as she moved against mewith the beat of the music.
As the piece ended, she whispered in my ear. “Let「s go home.”
“OK.” I said, and followed her to the door. Following her was fun.Her short skirt seemed awfully short when seen from the rear, barelydecent but very fun to watch. It was almost disappointing as we leftthe lights of the bar and went out into the dark parking lot.
“That was nice,” Beryl said as we walked into my apartment. She tookme by the waist and kissed me, holding the kiss for a long time,stroking my back with one hand while she held her other hand on mychest. I felt a bit awkward, unsure what I should do with my hands,until I realized that it must be reasonable for me to do with my handswhat she was doing with hers.
“That was nice,” she said, breaking the kiss. “I like the way youtouch me.”
An uncomfortable thought struck me as I looked at her. “Do we haveto worry about, well, birth control? I mean … “
She smiled. “No, but if you want children someday, we can have them.Would you like to dance some more?”
“OK,” I said. “What kind of music?”
“Something long?”
I put on a tape, and then she held my hand and we began to danceagain. She was a sensuous beauty, and it wasn「t long before I wassexually aroused by the way she touched me and moved with me.
“Don「t get impatient,” she whispered as I fondled her breast throughthe thin satin of her camisole. She pushed away my hand, and for a fewminutes, we danced, facing each other but not touching.
Beryl danced gracefully, back to me, and I wanted to hug her to me,but she shrugged off my arms and began to undo my shirt. Her touch wasgentle as she pulled my shirt off, but she never stopped dancing, andwhen my shirt was off, she flowed into my arms once again.
“You can undress me, if you want,” she whispered as I slid my handsover her body.
I felt clumsy taking off her camisole, but she smiled as I set itaside, and then she stepped back from me and danced, letting me watchthe gentle swing of her long black hair and the bounce of her smallbreasts as she moved.
“You「re beautiful,” I whispered as she came back into my arms. Herbreasts pressed softly agains my chest as we danced, and I could feelthe four earrings in her ear against my cheek.
She didn「t answer, but slid her hand down my back and slid a fingerunder the waistband of my pants.
“Keep dancing, don「t say anything more,” she whispered, kneeling infront of me, still swaying with the music as she kissed my belly andundid my belt. She gently pulled off my pants, and as she freed myerect penis, she gently kissed it before standing to hug me and kiss meon the lips.
My penis pressed agains her as we danced, and she smiled down at itand petted it before stepping back and pulling my hand to the buttonsthat held her skirt. I knelt to undo the four buttons, and then kissedher belly as I set the skirt aside. Unbuttoned, the skirt was littlemore than a band of fabric a yard long and a bit over a foot wide, andshe wore nothing under it.
She pulled away from me when I tried to hold her, but she keptdancing, letting me watch the erotic motion of her body for a fewminutes before she finally pulled me to her and kissed me. Our dancinghad degenerated to just swaying together, and as I kissed my way awayfrom her mouth, she hugged me by the back of the neck and directed myattention downward, first to her soft breasts and hard nipples, andthen lower.
I knelt to kiss her belly, and then hesitated about kissing anylower. She knelt to face me, her knees to my knees and her hands on mybuttocks, kissing me again as we swayed to the music. My penis pressedeagerly into the space between her legs, and after a minute, she pushedme gently back into a sitting position on the rug and then straddled mylap and worked herself down over me. As I entered her, she kissed me,hard, and then leaned back, holding me with her hands behind my neck andsmiling at me as we rocked to the rhythm of the music.
She looked down at where our bodies joined, and I looked down,following her gaze and feeling a bit awed. I slid my hands from herfanny up her sides, and her smile turned to bliss as I began to gentlytouch her breasts.
I lost track of time as we rocked to the music. My attention wasfocused on the moist warmth of her body surrounding my erect penis, andthen an intense look came over her face as she pulled me to her andbegan kissing. Her hips rocked in my lap, and I could feel waves ofmuscular contraction rippling through her from within. She gasped, andthen I was gasping myself, feeling the pumping within me as I rocked myhips in a desparate effort to thrust myself even more deeply into her.
We held each other for a while after that, still rocking gently tothe beat of the music, but relaxed and happy in the warm afterglow ofwhat we「d done.
“You「re fun,” I eventually whispered.
She smiled shyly. “You too. Let「s get into bed and I「ll teach yousome more ways to do it.”